Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Ughh.... Blue Valentine.

For some reason I love terribly sad and depressing movies. 

Blue Valentine is exactly that. I first saw it in the theaters and my heart just sank to the lowest of lows for these characters. Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams did such an incredible job bringing "Cindy" and "Dean" to life and leaving the audience (me) heartbroken. With the flashbacks to when they first met and hung out - it was the cutest, lovey - love, adorable relationship you've ever seen in your life. They are both beautiful and look great and look like they take care of themselves... and then they get married and have a baby and a few years go by and it's just downhill and the saddest thing about it is that it's probably one of the most truthful and tragic love story films out there. To me it was a story about two people who fall in love so fast, and get married so fast and have a baby so fast and they end up losing themselves and each other due to getting lost in the circus of everyday life. They forget who they are and who each other are... what a gut sickening feeling that must be. I feel like you hear about a lot of married couples who completely lose who they are once they get married and fall into this comfortable stage of just going through the motions - get married, have babies, work, etc and always trying to please one another and not communicating. *Now, most people I know are in very wonderful marriages... I am just speaking from movies and stories and about people I don't know.* My heart kind of drops when I think about how some people portray life after marriage. I think people see a movie like this and it's shocking to realize that this really does happen sometimes to marriages and relationships and its one of the most heart-wrenching feelings ever.... even just to think about. Anyways, its a great movie if you feel like watching something brutally honest and sad. 

Tangent: I am no expert but one thing I know is I never want to end up like them. You have to work at life and you have to work at love. It's rarely perfect but the journey should be good... no matter if its a bad day or a wonderful day... the journey should be worth it. I really do think that is one of the MAJOR keys to making everything work in life. You have to get yourself right, figure your stuff out, know what kind of person you are and want to be and most importantly LOVE YOURSELF first... you must do this all before you could possibly understand how to fully love or be there for another person.  Never say that someone completes you. We have to feel whole even we are by ourselves, for needing a certain person is not love but dependency. Wanting a person to become a part of our life is the best reason for having them. And you can only have enough. So rather than search for that someone who will complete you, wait for the person who will complement your completeness." Otherwise, I figure you will go through life just trying to please everyone else and living by their standards and eventually getting lost in the hustle and bustle of life. I am against going through the motions and doing things just because it's "time" to do them. It's "time" to go to college, it's "time" to make this much money, it's "time" to get married, it's "time" to buy a house, it's "time" to have babies, etc. Why does everyone say that? I think that the fact that everyone's going by what society says about what TIME and part of life your are supposed to be doing certain things messes with the ROMANCE OF LIFE. Not everyone is on the same schedule... this isn't 1950 or whatever. Do what's right for you. Be happy with you. Discover what you love and ache for... and it will find you. I have no doubt. 

But really... rent Blue Valentine. Crazy good acting. Ryan Gosling is beautiful. Thought-provoking. Heartbreaking. Honest. and just really, really, sadly pretty. 

'preciate ya. hb.


  1. UGH this post is SOOO good...and SO true!! You are wise beyond your years HB!! LOVE it SOOO much!

  2. Beautiful post Haley! Story of my life....thank you for sharing this, it's so true and i think so many can relate.

  3. I loved Blue Valentine as well!!